Experts point out that sexual fantasies develop during early experiences, as they usually begin during puberty and accompany the individual throughout his life.
They are generally innocuous, since they are ideas not intended to be executed, as Sigmund Freud said, so when they are in our imagination they can lose the stimulating effect they have if put into practice. That is, even if they are imagined, it does not mean that the individual really wants to do them.
The psychologist Justin L. Lehmiller has conducted a survey with 4,000 people to find out which are the most recurrent sexual fantasies and, as we said at the beginning, although for a cultural reason people don’t usually share their sexual fantasies and they are generally a taboo or a secret , most of them are quite common.
In his study, he gave people the opportunity to point their favourite fantasies, and then, from them, he established these seven broad categories.
1. Having sex with several people (threesomes, orgies, etc).
2. Power, control and rough sex: anything that falls under the category of bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism (BDSM).
3. Novelty, adventure, and variety: This refers to doing something that is different for the person in question, such as having sex in a new position or setting.
4. Taboo Activities: This category is based on doing something that you are not supposed to do when it comes to sex. That is, fetish and other fantasies that psychologists have long considered "paraphilic" (unusual).
5. Passion, romance, and intimacy: These fantasies involved satisfying emotional needs through sex, such as connecting with a partner or feeling loved, appreciated, and desired.
6. Having a non-monogamous relationship: Respondents mentioned practicing polyamory, exchanges that involve your partner being with someone else, or having an open relationship.
7. Gender flexibility and homoeroticism: going beyond the limits of identity (such as cross-dressing) and/or sexual orientation.
Of course, Lehmiller assures that these are not watertight compartments and that they are not exclusive. In other words, it's perfectly normal to fantasize about lots of different things. In addition, for some people these fantasies are a one-time thing, while for others, they are frequent.
Exploring our sexual fantasies helps us get to know ourselves better and discover what we like and excite the most. They enrich the vision we have of ourselves and of others, guaranteeing us a very sincere learning of our sexuality!
Feel free to fantasize and take inspiration!